A New Normal – An Update from Noodle’s Mom

Hi, everyone –

It has been awhile since we posted and we just wanted to take a second to thank everyone for all of the heartfelt messages that have been sent both on the blog and privately. We found so many of the messages on here to be especially helpful and healing.

So what has been going on in Noodle’s house?

Khia has been acting strange…clearly she knows something is different. Noodle is just Noodle. All he knows (from what we can tell) is that Mom is very upset which in turn is making him itchy, anxious, and completely neurotic. Both of them were shown Mya’s body after she passed so they would know she was gone and not just at Grandpa’s. Again, Khia seemed to know something but Noodle was completely oblivious and went about playing right away.

The days are filled with highs and lows. The highs being just mediocre moments, not times of full blown happiness, and the lows being soul-tearing, heart-constricting, bouts of crying with tears that could fill a swimming pool. I have cried the ugliest cries of my life the last few days.

Finding a new normal is proving very difficult. While grocery shopping I thought to myself: Better hurry. Mya needs to go out. Only to remember that she didn’t. Driving home from the grocery store: I hope Mya’s okay. No need to worry about that. Walking in with handfuls of grocery bags: *cross threshold, look for Mya in her dog bed* No…she’s not going to be there. I have to find a place for these groceries so I can see if she’s waiting by the back door. She probably has a wet diaper. No, she isn’t and she doesn’t. 6:45 pm: Time to feed Mya. No…no it’s not. At bed time: *check for Mya in dog bed* Oh, right…

It’s torture. Just as much as they (our animals) know their routine, we are accustomed to it and when it ceases to exist, you feel like your whole world is upside down. I know it will take time. I wish I could fast forward to the moment when the pain isn’t so constant.

It has been brought to my attention by a friend of ours (mine and Noodle) that although Mya was mentioned in posts and on the family page (oh, crap…I hadn’t thought of having to edit that until now), not much is known about her life and maybe a tribute post to her would be appropriate. I spoke to Noodle about this and he said it was okay as long as he could have some extra green beans in his dinner. It’s something we are going to work on and hope to have ready some time in April.

I know this is Noodle’s blog and the purpose of it is to make everyone who sees it smile. Although it is “written by Noodle”, the content is factual. To not include this part of our lives would only create a gap in the diary of his life that we are creating here. I hope to turn his blog back over to him for good very shortly. Right now, it is my outlet to be heard by people who I know can fully sympathize. So many of you have been through this pain and have been able to provide great insight.

Some of the brightest parts of the last few days have been when I logged in and read some of our friends’ blogs. Seeing pictures of all the dogs, cats, ferrets, and bunnies…well, it’s hard not to smile.

So, again, thank you all for helping me through this process.