Hi, everyone –

It has been awhile since we posted and we just wanted to take a second to thank everyone for all of the heartfelt messages that have been sent both on the blog and privately. We found so many of the messages on here to be especially helpful and healing.

So what has been going on in Noodle’s house?

Khia has been acting strange…clearly she knows something is different. Noodle is just Noodle. All he knows (from what we can tell) is that Mom is very upset which in turn is making him itchy, anxious, and completely neurotic. Both of them were shown Mya’s body after she passed so they would know she was gone and not just at Grandpa’s. Again, Khia seemed to know something but Noodle was completely oblivious and went about playing right away.

The days are filled with highs and lows. The highs being just mediocre moments, not times of full blown happiness, and the lows being soul-tearing, heart-constricting, bouts of crying with tears that could fill a swimming pool. I have cried the ugliest cries of my life the last few days.

Finding a new normal is proving very difficult. While grocery shopping I thought to myself: Better hurry. Mya needs to go out. Only to remember that she didn’t. Driving home from the grocery store: I hope Mya’s okay. No need to worry about that. Walking in with handfuls of grocery bags: *cross threshold, look for Mya in her dog bed* No…she’s not going to be there. I have to find a place for these groceries so I can see if she’s waiting by the back door. She probably has a wet diaper. No, she isn’t and she doesn’t. 6:45 pm: Time to feed Mya. No…no it’s not. At bed time: *check for Mya in dog bed* Oh, right…

It’s torture. Just as much as they (our animals) know their routine, we are accustomed to it and when it ceases to exist, you feel like your whole world is upside down. I know it will take time. I wish I could fast forward to the moment when the pain isn’t so constant.

It has been brought to my attention by a friend of ours (mine and Noodle) that although Mya was mentioned in posts and on the family page (oh, crap…I hadn’t thought of having to edit that until now), not much is known about her life and maybe a tribute post to her would be appropriate. I spoke to Noodle about this and he said it was okay as long as he could have some extra green beans in his dinner. It’s something we are going to work on and hope to have ready some time in April.

I know this is Noodle’s blog and the purpose of it is to make everyone who sees it smile. Although it is “written by Noodle”, the content is factual. To not include this part of our lives would only create a gap in the diary of his life that we are creating here. I hope to turn his blog back over to him for good very shortly. Right now, it is my outlet to be heard by people who I know can fully sympathize. So many of you have been through this pain and have been able to provide great insight.

Some of the brightest parts of the last few days have been when I logged in and read some of our friends’ blogs. Seeing pictures of all the dogs, cats, ferrets, and bunnies…well, it’s hard not to smile.

So, again, thank you all for helping me through this process.

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About noodle4president

I was a discarded, lost little stray without a house or a family...until my mom found me. Now, I am the happiest, most loved dog in the whole world!

42 responses »

  1. Frankie and Ernie says:

    WE have all been through this heart wrenching experience…. it is NOT easy… The think that keeps us going …. is our Blogville Furends who KNOW what it is like.
    WE think a Tribute post would be fabulous.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Genevieve says:

    We all do know what you’re going through, but also realize that it goes differently for each person, each family, and each pet. Getting some distance from it is the only thing that will dull the pain. Hang in there and just keep putting one foot in front of the other till the time passes. xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I truly wish that there was something I could say that would make you feel better, but there’s just not. Please know that your blogosphere friends are here for you. We understand. I wrote a tribute post when my Rocky passed and still share stories about him. It helps me keep his memory alive and helps me cope with him not being here. We think a tribute post would be beautiful. We would love to read about Mya. Sending love, hugs, and puppy power to you and your family!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Ohhhhhhhhhh!! The thing that helped my Mum the most when she lost our Harri was writing a story (with pictures) about his wonderful life. I’m sure Noodle wouldn’t mind you using his blog to do a special post for Mya. Hugs and love to you ……..

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sendin ya lotsa big hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. corkscot says:

    Our animals leave a huge hole in our hearts when they are gone. I have never gotten over the death of my first Scottie in 1978. It took until 1992 to get another one. I did not want to put myself through the loss again. I now had at least two at a time, so that I never get to the point of saying”NO MORE”

    Liked by 2 people

  7. maabbott3 says:

    The time is going to come when the good memories of Mya will outweigh the sadness that you are feeling. I know from experience it does get better. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. We’re not going anywhere but will be here to read whatever your heart leads you to write. I look forward to reading the tribute to Mya and also look forward to Noodle sharing his adventures when he is ready to share again. Giving you a hug and keeping you and your family in my prayers.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. raisingdaisy says:

    I remember all those day-to-day moments so horribly well. After our last dog passed, besides the regular routine things I kept expecting to do with her, all the places I expected to see her, and all the joy that I felt had just been cut out of our world, the other thing I distinctly remember is that I could swear I heard her footsteps in the house for the longest time. And I’d look up with a smile expecting to see her trotting toward me, only to realize it was my subconscious willing her to be there. I remember sobbing like you said so well – the ugliest crying I ever did in my life. It even took a few months before I could look at her pictures, it was just too hard. But eventually the pain did ease, and although I always missed her, the pain was replaced by happy memories and a feeling that my life was richer because she was part of it for eleven years. I, too, wish I could fast-forward time for you. Sending you many healing hugs and prayers, and hoping every day that the hole in your heart begins to be filled with only warm memories.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Fozziemum says:

    A tribute when you are ready would be lovely…oh boy time frames…there will always be those routine reminders..and it does hurt and I won’t lie they can pop up for the rest of our days…but they end up also being happy memories ..tinged with sadness..we have lost so many ..and all of them still can bring me to tears in a minute…I look at Forrest and Doc and know they have been with us longer than our other doggie..and that is double edged sword..i am so glad..but scared…really scared..al I can say is I would suffer the pain and heart ache any day…rather than not have had such love and friendship that all my babies have given me…huge hugs and loves from us all here Fozziemum xxxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • The times really are the killer – 6:45 am breakfast/shot, 12:30 – check sugar, 6:45 pm dinner/shot. Now the added – 6:30 pm time of first seizure, 7:27 pm sedative administered, 7:30 pm euthanasia. I LOATHE 7:30 pm. I know the times will become noticed less and less but right now, I can literally feel it when it is between 6:30 and 7:30 pm without looking at a clock.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Sending you a hug from my People. Whenever you are ready to write it, I know we will enjoy reading your tribute to Mya.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Princess Leah says:

    Lots of loves and hugs from us
    Take care
    Loves and lciky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh we know it’s sometimes very difficult finding (and staying in) the new normal after a huge loss. Routines are changed, the atmosphere in the house has changed, and even if we think we’ve coping remarkably well, we have desperately difficult and sad moments. But then again that’s all part of the “new normal” !! Just take your time adjusting the pace of things………while the heartache won’t completely go away it will certainly be something tucked in a corner of your heart instead of overwhelming you at times. Sending Hugs!

    Pam and Sam

    Liked by 2 people

  13. stella rose says:

    WE hated the new normal after our Sammy and Trudie was gone, Mom and I both rebelled against it…we often would get up in the middle of the night so dad would not hear mom cry and go it out on the porch, mom would drink coffee and I would just lay beside her, it took awhile and mom wrote several posts about it some times she was mad, at the world and the consequences and all the things she did not have control over. It took time and actually it took bringing two new babies in from the crualella deville puppy mill to help heal our hearts. We still miss them, but we keep them tucked away in a special part of our hearts. Of course Dietzman just went to the bridge a few weeks ago, and mom and dad think they still hear him meowing at supper time, and mom thinks when she gets home she sees him sitting outside enjoying the sun….with great love comes great grief. Stella Rose and Momma

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, I find myself going off other places so my husband doesn’t see/hear. Especially the first night. I went out to the couch because I couldn’t sleep. I kept having terrible dreams. Thank you for leaving a note ❤

      Like

  14. Hang in there, it will get better in the days ahead, she will always be with you. Take your time healing and remember all the joy she brought you, she will never leave you the days will just be different, hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I know it is a darned pain what eats your heart and with all our tears we could flood a desert…
    I wish I could do more than to share my tears with you and to send you a (sadly just virtual) hug. I would like a tribute post for Mya, that would be great…

    Liked by 2 people

  16. We can’t wait to see your tribute. Post all the pictures and memories you can. I am sure, reading it, we will all laugh and cry with you. Noodle is so innocent. I wish we could have the same oblivion he experiences. 🙂 Love and hugs from Lexi and her mom.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. DZ Dogs says:

    I understand…after my deary Bonesy boy cat passed away I sobbed – something I am just not accustomed to doing..
    I still miss him. We placed a beautiful kitty statue over where we buried him in the backyard. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Nylabluesmum says:

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Samantha…I totally ‘GET’ you about how the absence of a beloved 4 legged & their routine can mess us Humans up!!
    Mingflower was sick with Kidney Disease for 2 years & I built my life around her serious routine of care. When she left March 2006 my world crumbled because I did not know how to carry on w/out Mingflower. I tried to adopt another cat straight away but it did not work out. So I took 6 weeks to just ‘be’ by myself & grieve & restart my life. Then June of 2006 Nylablue came into my Life & we orbited around each other until I was assaulted (almost killed) Sept 2006. THEN we bonded & we moved to a new place. We had a great life together & we survived so many health issues until she got IBD (Bowel Disease) & then my routine changed so that I could take proper care of her. AS you know we went to Dr Dave weekly & there were so many ups & downs. My life was defined by Nylablue’s illness & it was so normal (as it had been with Mingflower).
    I was more prepared emotionally when Nylablue left…I had planned to adopt ‘in the Spring’. HAHAHAHA!!! Pretty funny huh?
    When Siddhartha Henry blew into my life I was totally blown away (no pun intended!)
    It felt right. Our routine is totally different but there is a new routine establishing itself….still I too think when I am out ‘Oh I must get back for Nylablue’ or when I wake up I call for her & get Siddhartha in my face “mee-you’ing” as if to say “Hey Lady don’t you know my name?”
    Adjusting to life w/out precious Mya will take time; let the grief move thru you & out of you. It will take time but you will adjust. Your pain will lessen. No you will never forget but it will become easier to function….trust the process my friend.
    {{{{HUGS}}}} Sherri-Ellen

    Like

    • Thank you, Sherri-Ellen. I told my husband that I am not going out looking for a 3rd dog. I want to devote this, now free, time to Khia and Noodle. They so deserve all of my attention after having been put on the back burner so many times because of the care and attention Mya needed. However, if a dog should cross our paths in one of those fateful ways, I would be open to it. ***hugs***

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Nylabluesmum says:

    Hello Samantha: I totally understand that you want to devote yourself ot Khia & Noodle. certainly with Khia’s needs I can see that.
    As you said tho’….if some poochie crosses your path…
    And you KNOW how the Universe likes to surprise us…
    For now just rest & snuggle Khia & Noodle & remember your darling girl…..
    That is all you have to do. Oh & don’t foget to feed Jamieson, lol 😉
    {{{hugs}}} Sherri-Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Mrs P says:

    These are hard days, just keep moving forward, take care of yourself & your loved ones xx

    Liked by 1 person

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