Have you ever had that feeling that you were being followed?

Yesterday, 7:00 am: I went out to do my 1st business of the day and I could tell Mom was acting a bit strange. Of course, Mom acts strange quite often so I dismissed it. I found a great spot, lifted my leg, and Mom reached down and puts this “thing” under me!

The “thing”

Why the heck did she put that where I was peeing?! I about jumped out of my skin. I ran ahead of her and went around the house. I found a spot, lifted my leg, and she tried to put that “thing” near my pee again! I wasn’t done peeing but I was done staying outside. In the house I went.

I think it was about 9:00 am when I “attempted” to go outside a 2nd time and finish my 1st business of the day. I was very reluctant to leave the porch. Something was fishy. I gave mom the side eye but gave it a go. I lifted my leg and BAM! There she was with the “thing”! Yeah, I wasn’t playing that game. Inside again!

9:15 am: Mom says I MUST pee or it will come out of my eyeballs. Can that REALLY happen?!?!?! I wasn’t taking the chance. So, out I went for the 3rd time to finish my 1st business of the day. Again, I went off the porch. I took a couple steps….a quick side-eye showed Mom right on my tail. Thinking perhaps it was a coincidence, I took another few steps. Side-eye revealed: MOM! She had gone full-blown stalker. Seriously, guys. She followed me for 15 minutes with that “thing” in her hand!!! Finally, at 9:30, I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to a tree and let the good times flow…er…roll! I thought I eluded her. WRONG! She was on the other side of the tree and you will never guess what she did. She stole my pee!

She actually took my pee in that “thing” and left the house with it. Not only that, she snuck Khia with her!!!! Well, as soon as they got back I asked Khia what happened to my pee. She said Mom put it in the cup-holder in the car and they drove to the vet. Next, Mom went inside with the “thing” and when she came out – IT WAS GONE!!!!

😯 😯 😯

Something is up with the vet’s office. They take the grossest things: pee, blood, poop. It’s all very shady.

I have to go now. I need to go out to pee. HOPEFULLY by myself! *HINT HINT, MOM! I KNOW YOU READ THIS!*

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About noodle4president

I was a discarded, lost little stray without a house or a family...until my mom found me. Now, I am the happiest, most loved dog in the whole world!

34 responses »

  1. Well I certainly agree that humans seem to have some kind of “thing” about our personal bodily fluids. They want to collect them in little containers – what kind of thing is THAT to collect anyway? What about oil paintings, or figurines, or dolls or something? That’s sensible to collect but PEE, POOP, BLOOD? ICK!

    Hugs, Sammy

    Liked by 3 people

  2. colinandray says:

    Hi Noodly Buddy! That happens to me as well. Mom distracts me at the front while Dad has a jug under me collecting my pee! Those guys gang up on me periodically. Woof! Ray.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hope your pee turns out alright. Mom’s are sneekie.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. That is pretty weird, Noodle! I can’t imagine trying to go while someone is following me around trying to take my pee. Although now that I’ve said that, I’m sure it will happen to me sooner or later…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Frankie and Ernie says:

    Oh My Dawg….. your mom STOLE your PEES???? What is she going to do with your peemail??? Start writing a Gossip Column?? THIS is OUT RAGE US

    Liked by 2 people

  6. It’s INSANE at the vet. Once they took me into the vet’s yard and stole my peemail right then and there. With a PAPER PLATE! And another time with a soup ladle. They’re pee vampires! I’m hoping by now you got the privacy you needed. Sheesh! What a bunch of freaks.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

    Liked by 2 people

  7. corkscot says:

    Tell your mom to try a soup ladle next time. It works like a charm and you won’t even know that she is stealing your pee.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Dey are stealin your pee to frame ya for somefin.

    Like

  9. Mrs P says:

    Your Mom is a pee thief ????? Man Alive and I thought Mrs P was strange putting my poo in bags and posting it into a poo bin…..once a week a man calls at the village and takes all the poo away what do you think he does with it all ?????????

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Noddle that’s THE challenge for humans…. my momma followed me for hours and she wasn’t fast enough with the cup…. the people of our village laughed at her and thought she is completely bananas… at the end she won and got some pee-r… and guess what? as she tried to grab the cup, her clumsy feet were in the way and the pee-r landed on the street…
    I hope the vet will read good things in the pee-r and in the recycled food, my paws are crossed buddy.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. BOL, it is very hard collecting from male dogs. Your mom deserves a gold star for her talent and perseverance! Trust me, Noodle, having her stalking you is far better than the alternative! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nylabluesmum says:

    Mew mew mew yur Mumma iss not berry sneeky iss shee Noodle???
    Mee finkss shee meened well butt shee could have told you befur paw so you wood know what shee was doin! Hu’Manss are a funny bunch aren’t they???
    Now why did shee an Khia take yur pee to thee vet’ss??? Hmmmm thee misstery continuess…..
    ***nose bonkss*** an *play bowss* Siddhartha Henry xXxXx

    Liked by 1 person

    • She thought she was stealthy…I proved her wrong! After the 1st try, she told me it was very important. I was pee-shy. Oops. I’m not sure what Khia’s role in all of this was. She claims to be an innocent bystander who just went along for the ride…literally. *Hugs and ear licks*

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Nylabluesmum says:

    Mee wood bee ‘pee-shy’ too Noodle. The fingss thee peepss fink of to do with us 😉
    HHMMM maybee Khia wass a seecuritee guard fur yur pee sampull??
    Shee DOESS luv you allott!
    ~~head rubss~~ an *nose kisses*
    Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I guess your pee snatching proved to be OK? No worries? Good.

    Liked by 1 person

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